Tag: family

Loving Parenthood

Several years ago, when I quit my out-of-the-home job, I had visions of daily darling craft projects with my children while fresh, homemade bread wafted through the house. My voice would remain calm and in the normal decibel
range for an average housewife. Where did I get such an image?
When my fi rst week as a working stay-at-home mom (SAHM) started with my locking myself out (with children and cellphone in hand), I realized I might have to re-evaluate some of my expectations. Once I decided to leave the office world, I have carried a vision of what I anticipated a SAHM could and should do. And what I could do for my family.

I’m working outside my home again and as I fi nished a big project this week and spent time meeting deadlines, there was no fresh baked bread. Sure, I managed to fix (or help fix) three meals (daily, mind you, not over the course of the entire week!). But the laundry has remained unfolded, heaped in a pile where passersby might see from our window.

When I can, I pick up my children from school, often stopping long enough to speak to their teachers,
but not necessarily long enough to make playdates or enjoy the camaraderie of other parents.

It’s not that I don’t want to be more engaged. I’m trying to focus on keeping the projects under control.
But when you look at taxes and monthly bills, there is that regular squeeze that one needs to do more to
make ends meet.

Other mothers I know struggle with similar dilemmas whether they work or not.

I’m sure I misunderstood what my parents went through raising me and my siblings until, well, now. And, I
suspect, my kids won’t understand until a few years down the road what is a recession or what it means to
pay bills (instead of buying more toys).

Fortunately, I’m comforted by my memories of a content childhood, full of fun with friends and family. And
not once do I recall the smell of bread baking.

What do are some of your distinct childhood memories you try to recreate for your kids? What non-memories
do you have that you want your kids to have? What expectations do you have for yourself as a mother?

If I Started Blogging Today I Would….

If I started blogging today I would decide on how to incorporate all of my interests into my blog and make sure that there exists flexibility in such a design. It’s what I’m trying to do during this blogathon because I spent so much time blogging about creativity and then realized that as much as I wanted to focus on a niche, there were many other pieces of me that make up my whole.
For example, I spend a lot of time reading and reviewing books. I’m a parent of three. I’m a writer and editor of fiction and nonfiction. I live on coastal North Carolina and grew up in Denver. I love blogging for Women on Writing and I’m developing an online class about editing.
So, if I started blogging today, I would try to incorporate more about the me that I am (and my wide range of interests) so that the blog could grow with me, instead of getting stuck about what to write for my blog when I don’t fit my blog tagline anymore. I lost the flow when I didn’t fit the tagline. Now I’m just trying to flow and be me.

Meanest, I Mean, Nicest Parents

Parenting in the time of iPads, iPhones and other electronics is definitely a balancing act. My kids have friends whose parents have purchased an iPad for each of their children. Our kids, nada.
The other day, our kids were discussing one family in particular and saying how nice the parents were because they had purchased electronics for their kids. Then my son looked at me and my face may have revealed more than I thought it had. He quickly mentioned that I was a nice mom, too.
They understandthat we’re not going to purchase everything they want, but they don’t always get it.
A few years back, they went through a stage when they would make a blanket statement that if I won’t let them do something or if I won’t buy something, I don’t love them. If I won’t let them do something, I’m “the meanest mom ever”. Fortunately we’ve moved past that and they know I love them.
But it does make me wonder…what electronics/toy/game/clothes are next in line and that might cast me as the mean one?